Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Santa's Little Helper and other naughty stuff

Oops, forgot to rotate the photo so you'll have to rotate something else to fully appreciate Santa's Little Helper. Have you ever seen anything so wrong in all your life? Thank you Unique Thrift and thank you Jo White who took credit for the design and execution. This is not a costume my bad little elves -- this is fully lined, Grinch green couture designed for those who have been very very good at something with genuine rabbit fur keeping the knees warm.  What i wonder is, why isn't the head costume designer for Mad Men calling me right this minute?  Is it because she is not one of my three Facebook friends?  Is it because the fur in the photo above looks peed on? Uhuh, see below...
This is the pure-as-the-driven-snow real color, and look, you simply snip off the 102 spots it's tacked on for laundering the dress in case you pit it out playing reindeer games. Ho ho ho.

In keeping with our pre-season holiday hijinx and delightfully debauched review, I give you an adult dose of Italian-made booty-hugging sinsters. Neither me nor my hardwood floor do these items justice, my usual model, rascal, is alas, deceased, and dennis, like the other supermodels, won't get out of bed for under $15 $5.35/day.  If you have two or three glasses of wine and lay down some house beat and squint real hard, you can imagine the hand-stitched leather hip band barely covering the naughty bits, the italian made wool clinging to the two pigs fighting in a blanket and, holy commando -- they're fully lined in gold colored satin. the james bond-y secret back pocket is for the pliers you'll need to get these things off. that is absolutely not my witchy bloated finger.

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