I took Art Appreciation back when Rembrandt taught the class and I recall something about how your eye should travel around the composition, focusing first on one object, the pearl earring for example, he was always talking about the pearl earring, that was highlighted with light of celestial origin, and then on to similar forms in a clockwise direction ending up at a rotting grape or the ring on milady's finger that looked like a grape.
Well that was the 1600s and I've forgotten a lot since then. Obviously. I mean, where to look first? Detached retinas is a serious concern. So here are the directions for appreciation, as per the master:
1. Be polite and look Jennifer Allen in the eye with a firm handshake and a smile. Repeat her name. Nice to meet you Jennifer. She's an independent stylist with accessories folk Stella & Dot, stelladot.com. Which leads us to...
2. DON'T jump ahead to the Power of Pink boots. Don't. Oh my gosh, I can't help my eyeballs -- they just go to the strangely compelling Orbs of the Couch. Which totally own me. I feel like a footstool. Pry them off with a thwaaack...
3. Ah yes, earrings. And tasselly pendant, and tasselly bag and filigreed cuff and turquoise ring. Those are all of Stella & Dot provenance. Make your eyes go round and round in an accessory hokey pokey. Now put your right eye in, take your right eye out...
4. NOW you can travel down to the boots, warm your hands over them. OK, that's enough.
5. Something subtle that you may have missed is her trippin' dress. And now art aficionados, we're back in the center of the portrait. With Timothy Leary. Peace out.
1. Be polite and look Jennifer Allen in the eye with a firm handshake and a smile. Repeat her name. Nice to meet you Jennifer. She's an independent stylist with accessories folk Stella & Dot, stelladot.com. Which leads us to...
2. DON'T jump ahead to the Power of Pink boots. Don't. Oh my gosh, I can't help my eyeballs -- they just go to the strangely compelling Orbs of the Couch. Which totally own me. I feel like a footstool. Pry them off with a thwaaack...
3. Ah yes, earrings. And tasselly pendant, and tasselly bag and filigreed cuff and turquoise ring. Those are all of Stella & Dot provenance. Make your eyes go round and round in an accessory hokey pokey. Now put your right eye in, take your right eye out...
4. NOW you can travel down to the boots, warm your hands over them. OK, that's enough.
5. Something subtle that you may have missed is her trippin' dress. And now art aficionados, we're back in the center of the portrait. With Timothy Leary. Peace out.
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