Thursday, January 31, 2013

shoe-gooder stimulates economy and eyeballs

These are Marc Jacobs boots. And Marc Jacobs legs.  Dude.  If anyone is even thinking the descriptive word "fierce," your screen will animate and Marc Jacobs gonna kick yo ass.  Same thing if the thought, Damn those some scaly unattractive pegs, flashes up on the grey cells.  Enough judgmentalism -- only I get to do that.  It's time for an Economic Impact Study! Yayyyy!  Inhale. Hoooooooold it.  And let's go!

First off,  these kicks are imprinted in the fuschia interior and the sole with the troubled megalomaniac's genius's name only once, thus Marc Jacobs, rather than the cheaper stuttering version, Marc by Marc Jacobs.  I had some trouble ascertaining the original retail price because studded heels are so 2010 but this minute's boots by the designer are going for between $750 and a million dollars. Thus, using the lower number, we can see that someone was a genuine foo' got the economic ball rolling briskly.  And played along smart as like Paris Hilton by realizing within one wearing that studs attract gamma rays from Jupiter, so she gave them to one of the Village People, who was like, Duh, I'm the Native American, and he put it in a great big garbage bag along with the trappings of his former life as a cowboy, and donated the whole shebang to Savers in Bloomington.  Where I tottered in.  The boots were marked (Marc'ed, ha) $12.99 which made me hesitate but I had a 20% off coupon.  According to Savers website, my $10.30 was part of the $150M they handed over to their nonprofit partners to carry out their valuable services right here in our community.  So that's probably good.  As much as I dearly wanted to grab hold of those economic balls and not let anyone else touch the or play with them and in fact be sort a great big a**hole  and gloat ... well ok, I did do that stuff. (see above)
But then, when it was pointed out that I looked like a salamander with gout I realized I should keep the ball rolling and share it with others less cheap fortunate than me who otherwise would be forced to buy Giuseppe Zanotti boots full fare, I trotted them right up to GH2 in Minneapolis where they pried them from my claw-like grasp and I cried a little and felt so terrible for sharing.  However my 50% take on whatever outrage those nice people put on the price tag will stimulate my personal economy such that me and my rippling effected thighs will reverberate all the way out to NYC. Where some seriously stimulating stuff may go down. And by that, I mean I may order wine with a name other than Red.

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