Thursday, November 15, 2012

I dream of Ina

This is as close as I will ever get to the business side of this molded marvel of 26 yards of silk, pleated and compressed under approx. 471 PSI to create visual tension. Or attention. Dang, she wears it well, right?  There are two reasons I am still in ownership of my front teeth after this invasion of personal space -- 1) I share DNA with this person and 2) I got a signed release.  We were enchanted with the 14 covered buttons until we discovered they're not for affect, they're for crazy-making.  Theoretically functional, the only way into and out of this beast.  My fingers cramped up on me and the staff here at Ina (more on Ina below) had to take over.  Thirty-five minutes later, I took the photo, we plunged our hands into ice water to bring down the inflammation, popped a couple Wal-profen and began the unbuttoning process.  In the event that you do not have a staff of six to gird your loins, the woman at Ina whose career as a concert pianist is now over, suggested swirling the buttons around to the front for the operation.  Due to the fitted nature of the garment, I could foresee a somewhat painful repositioning of most of the dermal elements of your torso along with the skirt.

Two big names I'd like to drop here are Burberry Prorsum (the skirt) and Ina (the shop).  Is it just me, or can you not get the image of a nasty possum wearing a really nicely cut trenchcoat with its skinny pink tail dragging behind out of your mind?  Hello marketing department? You're fired! 

Ina,, is a designer consignment store.  Second only to model/actress in libelous overstatement, most designer consignment stores are filled with Ann Taylor Loft and Limited. Collection. Ugh. Not so Ina.  In its five locations spread across the length and breadth of lower Manhattan, Ina walks the walk, chock-a-block with Lanvin, Gucci, Margiela, Fendi, YSL, Chanel, Balenciaga, Etro, Prada, and yes, the super-fierce possum.  Things are still $735 but that represents an 80% depreciation after one sashay down the runway during which the clothes tried but failed to make contact with the model's body.  If for some reason you can't make it to any of the five Ina locations, no worries -- you can shop online at the website or on Ebay.  Though the prices were somewhat higher than my mortgage, it was extremely gratifying to see the designer category honored, and it was very exciting to see these pieces before the accumulated wear and tear and bodily fluids of several raves and a long weeekend in Las Vegas lands them at the Goodwill. Where I normally find them.

No comments: