Glamorama 2012, an annual occasion to reflect on not only weighty questions like What is this thing on my chin? but also, What is glamor? and What is the tipping point, so to speak, between these heels and my blood alcohol level? The theme, British Invasion, didn't seem unduly limiting -- most celebrants were able to subtly blend the Union Jack, knickers and bangers and mash into their bedazzled tableau. The one overriding nod (damn, I am on fire) to Britishness was hats. Hats bloody hats. While it would have seemed easier to just mess up your teeth or carry a Corgi, many Glammers went the extra mile and popped a crowning glory on the old melon.
Even as I spray you with spittle about hats, above I post two women with hair on their heads. I am a big fat liar! With the credibility of Michele Bachmann! But enough bragging. These two are my cover models for a deliriously upbeat (some would say, heavily medicated) annual report on the State of Glamor in the Twin Towns. (Those with exclamation point intolerance should take this opportunity to bugger off) Fake bandage dresses have loosed their strangle hold! Crotches were mostly covered! There was not a single tragic store-bought balloon bursting incident! Creativity flowed like jello shots! Draping! Sometimes not jowls! Men! Straight men! Men with Elton John's belt (even I cannot make this shit up)! People over the age of 30 leading active productive lives! Some of my favorite Glammers from last year (who are even now being treated for PTSD)! Things are looking up, my bit-covering friends! There's a style renaissance, a scraping of the clay from our eyes, though quite a bit of mascara remains. Behold! We see and know in a biblical sense that Marc Jacobs has been to one too many street fairs! We know that those heels came with a g-string and pasties but we weigh that against the Rule of Thirds, the Golden Means of Aspiring Architecture, that declare it a good idea to jack the trunk up about 6 inches, concurrently boosting our qi. Oh enough.
I'm extremely happy to present the above Glam poster women. Fun, game, gorgeous and unarmed! I look for that in a street style subject. They were there classing up the event and representing Edina-based La Bratique (labratique.com) foundation fitting service. Two things happened when they told me about Bratique -- I turned my eyeballs on their tatas like they were going to start singing Yankee Doodle, and they scanned the Nebraska-like plane of my chest. Cross check and prepare for takeoff!