she be spoking

We spoke.  She be spoking.  More amazingly, she be walking around in her own giddyup kicks that she be cut and formed and soled and pegged with her own MFA-from-Art-Institutes-of-Chicago certified fingers.  And she can be make them for you too!!

Ok this language gimmick be giving me the fantods.

See that little animal on her neck?  Relax, totally cleared of distemper.  See that genuine Swiss army man bag with the boyfriend attachment?  That's her Leatherman.  Get it?  Because Swiss army, she works with lea....

Holy hides,  I want those!!  This is Amara Hark-Weber's foot but it could be yours because she makes custom boots and chaps and other daywear just for you!  See?  harkweberstudio.com.  You can choose the materials, the design, the level of toughness, and she will draw around your foot and say nothing about the bunions and out with the awls and knives and hacksaws and ice picks and hammers and stretchers and belt sanders and guillotines (shoemaking is a pretty violent undertaking) and swaddle your insteps with the most achingly beautiful article you ever sweat in.  I'm gonna give you that website again in case you were unconscious --  harkweberstudio.com.  It's not as easy as you'd think.  Takes 2 - 4 weeks, depending on whether you want one boot or two. 

This picture shows she still has all her fingers which makes it pleasant to shake her hand and pass over the benjamins in exchange for your custom raccoon carrier or ring or CIA badge case or shackles wristlet or other useful stuff.  Just in time for Festivus -- remember, nothing says Happy Holidays like a custom leather vacuum cover (hint hint people).