Wednesday, February 19, 2014

the off-duty model hat

And I'm back.  Miss me?  Paying work got in the way but that's all over, and now I'm writing shit that no sane person would pay to read again -- yay!
This woman got up in the morning and,  knowingly or unknowingly,  put on every street style blogger magnet ever invented such that the pull reached all the way over to the smelly depths of my St. Paul burrow, grabbed me by the waffle knit old man long underwear and compelled me with all due haste to NE Minneapolis. 
Or else it was GH2's Why The Hell Did You Pay Full Price Two Months Ago Sucker 90% Off Sale.
At any rate, let's review:
  • droopy snood-like (where were you in 72?) hat that you could also put a big box of CheezIts in
  • Clark Kent glasses
  • and their handmaiden that gives them super powers, a young and beautiful face without excess skin that flops when you turn your head
  • cell membrane earrings
  • scarf she got when she did the semester in Spain. Or the mall.
  • and under the scarf, if you squint your eyeballs real hard, a big chain (of lakes, ha) that is allowing us some nifty irony of scale
  • her boyfriend's lace skirt
  • her mom's Sorels
Add that up, and you got a tractor beam power of 147, well above the 23 that is necessary to make my arm jerk with camera on the end of it and my mouth to form many sentences with no brain connection whatsoever.

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