shut up -- vintage wedding dress

Don't even reveal your naivete.  This gorgeous assemblage of virginal lace and hope was not made for a Dr. Seuss character of very lean proportion, as we can see by the photo of the bride. She's a dumpling and a beautiful one.  The dress is A) bias cut and B) stretched with age.  Again, something about that sounds so familiar....
Arlene, of My Sister's Closet fame, insisted the fabric was so fragile it would disintegrate upon touching.  Sure enough, it did.  Now Arlene has instituted a few rules about things that are bias cut, or lace, or old, or not made out of plastic...

 

here are some smokin people and a bag

Normally, when I stumble up to people who are enjoying a smoke and ask if I can disseminate their photo all over the internets,  they take one last drag and then sort of sheepishly toss the cig or hold it behind their back while tons of relaxing tobacco is wasted and I prattle on and forget to turn on the camera, almost as if I wasn't a big pain in the kiester. 

 [A true journalist, I looked up the correct spelling of kiester and discovered it's a city in Minnesota, population 501.  Also, the correct spelling is ass.]

But this guy actually took out a fresh one and lit up just for the occasion.  I like people who are unrepentant about their vices.  I like unrepentant people. There,  I said it.

Aside from smoking and wearing hats and boots and way sexy leg covering (hers are not bad either), they both dig thrift store shopping.  Which is where he got his peacoat and she got her fully tooled bag.  When I just wrote that -- fully tooled bag -- it resonated in a very personal way.  Ah well, here's to unhealthy, life-shortening blogs habits.

impressionist manscape

Between the profile view, the boater beancover (courtesy of Heimie's in downtown St. Paul) and robust facescaping (managed by Lush products), I had the Impression (a-thankyou) I'd seen this scene before.  Rendered in oils with baguette on the side.  Renoir's enthusiastic Dudes, Underdressed is not the one I had in mind but it's the best my impatient imperfect search returned.  The bon vivant at far left gives a similar vintage contemplative feel, as in, this is the way people used to wait for the next thing to happen.  The other highly retro element to our Man Of The Bus Stop is what we don't see -- a small rectangular device that he is attending with the focus of a minesweeper. Probably that's why he looks so lifelike.

The limited issue Stefan Janoski/Nike kicks keep him grounded in the present and ready to spring onto the ACTC shuttle at a moment's notice.

Tommy meets Paul Bunyan

They chill. 

The end.

I have a pretend camera

It's called the Internet.  

My real camera beeped in a whiny way and when I took it back to National Camera they discovered the problem.  It was one week beyond the warranty.  The lady at National Camera was real nice and sneaky and suggested we send it to the Olympus doctors with a note that said the illness happened before the warranty ended.  I hope no one from Olympus repair department is reading this.  If they feel like it  believe us, I'll get the camera back in two months. Or two years. Same diff.

Soooooo...

I'm going to post pictures of vintage wedding dresses. As you would. The one above is very Princess Grace.  You can tell it's vintage because it doesn't look like Snooki Does The Chapel.  Brides used to believe in the sleeve...

I say, good show.

This is fine if you're the sort who goes for all that gorgeousness.  
I know this will shock the heck out of you, but at the time, I could have cared less about my gown de nuptual. I went to one store with my mom. As we walked in the door, I said,  How about that one?  I tried on two, for the sake of comparison, and chose the one whose bodice was like a bedazzled t-shirt -- short sleeves, crew neck. All that was missing was a chest pocket.  I'm pretty sure it was machine wash and dryable.  I still have it, taxidermied and hermetically sealed. It's real scary.
I can't stop. V worried about foundations. Corinthian.

look downward angel, annotated

"Look downward Angel now, and melt with ruth:
And, O ye Dolphins, waft the hapless youth."

I'm making an obscure literary allusion to Thomas Wolfe's autobiographical novel, the title of which came from lines from Milton's poem Lycidas, noted above. With my edits.  I have never heard of ruth used as a non-proper noun, and have no idea what that couplet means.  But it speaks to the magical realism of these boots. 
P.S. 
Refreshed and caffeinated, I perceive that Milton,  that incorrigible imp, was merely stretching for a rhyme with youth when he grasped at ruth, though you'd think vermouth would have been right handy.  Another revelation of the a.m. is that, duh,  "with ruth" is the opposite of "without ruth" or as we more commonly see it, with francine  ruthless.  Or in a more modern interpretation,  Chris Martin is positively Gwynethless.  See, it all makes sense now!  A couple of crazy kids were playing with their My Little Manatees and let the grilled cheese sandwiches burn. 

boot count

I was getting up close and perverted with the riding-esque swashbuckled boots in the foreground but upon inquiry with the owner discovered I'd been once again punked by Target.  That hurts.  I start questioning the order of the universe -- how can Target sell leather boots with value-added fake spurs for $39.99 on sale?  Could the many millions they've invested in developing very realistic pleather be better spent on making the executive restrooms paperless?  How far will they go to shake my sense of self-worth? Does that mean I actually only have .5 skillz?  Paranoia and delusions of grandeur are symptoms of what mental illness?  That last is a bonus question. 

Suffice to say, this disturbing revelation soured me on the whole photo.  Until I looked at it in jazz-up-your-lame-photo mode.  And realized what we have here is a classic poorly framed Highlights For Children shot entitled How Many Boots Can You Find In This Picture?  Not being too good with numbers, this has not kept me busy and quiet for minutes.

how to wear Queequeg-inspired hair

Call me Ishmael, but were it not for this guy's sculpted face, beautiful scarf and parka straight out of my 70s youth,  I think he may have had trouble pulling off the high ponytail.  So as not to appear unhip, I didn't ask why he's wearing his sunglasses on the back of his neck.  I'm like,  Oh yeah, I dig.