who wore it better?

Obviously, Elijah Greer did.  I'm talking about the long, lush and behavin' freak flag.  While it's true,  Greer spent about two days and a boatload of product on the blowout, color, styling and ancillary makeup (we're dying to know the secret to that 12 o'clock shadow), the final look is effortless.  And worth it!

While there have been baseless rumors about Carrie Underwood being fast,  Greer's speed is well-documented. The recently graduated Oregon Duck, now Nike pro, covered a half-mile in one minute, 45.04 seconds, though it must be said, he was not wearing heels and his ensemble, while formfitting, was quite conservative.

tight gold sleeve (1) and bunhuggers (pair) key to high jump

I think this is high jumper Inika Mcpherson (I was sweating and practically in the next county when I took this photo) harnessing the super powers of the sun and concentrating them in the loin area and upper right arm via hi-tech gold lycra.  Do not try this at home kids.  Used improperly, such as in the checkout line at Cub or on the 21 bus, these bad boys could damage innocent bystanders and frighten children.  Obviously, she is a professional, using this two-piece turbosuit to launch herself 6 feet, 3-1/2 inches off the ground and possibly to Moscow (World Championships).  Ok, you knew it was coming... She has set the style bar very high. 

Thanks, I feel better now.

would you rather have hair like this or a million $$

Duh, the coin.  Because then strange damp people would not accost you in public places, take poorly framed photos and post them on the internets.  In the lottery of life,  this dude got the ability to cover 1500 meters fairly quickly and one heck of a head of hair, and is working both to good affect.  He says he gets a lot of comments about the hair -- some coming down on the side of cool,  some saying it's stupid (I'm assuming those are members of the Bald and Comb-Over Club of America).  He doesn't cut it because he is not a fool it's a Samson-esque source of super powers.  If you are thinking Biff is going to jump into his vintage VW van with the boards on top and head on back to Santa Cruz, you are stoned and middle-aged mistaken  --  our Ringlets-A-Plenty rep is a Michigander, born and raised, and attends Lake Superior State University.

Now here's where I try not to look like a sicko creep preying on under-age boys with pretty pretty hair that I absolutely did not touch show his purple shoes.

camouflaged

Somehow,  despite the stealth camo cardigan,  I detected this woman amongst the track fans at Drake stadium.  Was it the pink-pink-my-watch-is-pink,  or the custom Nikes developed with a chroma-crushing machine that smooshes color particles together under very high pressure such that the resulting volatile suspension has a half life?  Or was it the fact that,  even though she's swaddled neck to toe,  she is not wearing sweat swags that speak to a loss of one quarter of her total body weight like I everyone else was.

Because I didn't see enough swooshes over the weekend,  put on your post-retinal surgery glasses and have a gander at these kicks.

retro zebra

This is not that nasty old zebra that ran around on the Serengeti and got eaten by lions. Nor is it the size XL tent of polyester favored by herds of cougars grazing at Old Country Buffet.  Uh no no no.  Bolt of blue platforms elevate these bunwarmers to a 1940s retro sassy animal.  She is even now thinking, I am never coming to this watering hole again.

Go Bulls!

Quiet woman, but she gets her message across.  There is absolutely nothing not to like here.  I am only the tiniest bit concerned about what happens when she walks and the breezes blow.

Elton John is alive and I have proof

See?  Elton John, center,  left, and The Factory It girls. Or was that James Brown and The Workhouse It girls?  I get all confused when it comes to 1950s pop stars.  This dysfunction was triggered when I, foolishly,  asked these super-giant Asian-style buffets to snuggle up in one picture frame when even one alone on a white backdrop would cause smoke to billow from the ears and bleeding in the retinas, there is that much going on stylistically.  It was frankly irresponsible of me.  Thus irresistible.  Like the long-play version of Neil Young's Down By The River,  this post is best enjoyed at leisure with plenty to occupy your remaining gray cells for the duration of one very ample doobie.

We're now heading into that real long instrumental, and when we come to, we'll be, like,  J-Star man, is that you?  I thought you dead, man.  You the finest looking dead mofo...

Eden pair-y

White white white folks shirts sure look clean and well-educated -- man, you could eat off their solar plexuses. I hope these two bear that cross better than others who have appeared here.  The blue-eyed beauty on the right went high-high with head-to-toe Alexander Wang, with the notable exception of the fruity-licious skirt which is Stella McCartney.  She dressed her football captain man-cessory in denim rather than jeans.  #ivyleague.